Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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