Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
