glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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