I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
