pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
