if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
