We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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