Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
