do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
