dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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