Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
