Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
