What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
