windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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