i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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