shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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