All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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