you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
