Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
