did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
