I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
