sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I love having hate sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
