i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
