I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i drank out of a bidet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
