Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
