you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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