hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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