I heard we made out
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
