I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
