I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
