I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
