so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
