your thong is hanging out like whoa
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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