Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
