dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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