he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
