So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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