Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
