Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
