She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
