i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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