Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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