dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
