allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
