Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
