kristin has been a bad kristin
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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