i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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