remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
