nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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