fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Text me some of your sweat
I think we might need a safe word for this...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize