I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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