Don't you send me to vm
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
