he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
