I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize