Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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