Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
