Only a mothe r could love this liver
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
