he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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