mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
