windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I cut my penus on the lid.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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