This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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