I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
