You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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