ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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