So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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