Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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