Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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